Inanimate objects can be scientifically classified into three major categories; The ones that don't work, the ones that break and the ones that get lost.
Russell Baker
Usually, terrible things that are done under the pretext that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
Russell Baker
Newspapers, once known as a source of raunchy humor and raunchy pranks, have lost all their fun and small wonder lately.
Russell Baker
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passed between lonely aliens in a hostile world.
Russell Baker
Reporters giggle at the misfortune of the world. For this reason they often take indecent pleasure in events that frustrate the rest of humanity.
Russell Baker
Kingsley Amis was one of a trio of brilliant comic novelists who lit up English literature in the twentieth century.
Russell Baker
Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they became parents, and when age finally piques their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them.
Russell Baker
Journalism was being swayed by the Wall Street principle that profit could be maximized by minimizing product.
Russell Baker
Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it doesn't matter.
Russell Baker
People tend to enjoy things more when they know that many other people are being excluded from the enjoyment.