American Stand-up Comedian John Mulaney Quotes

The more you do the stuff, the better you are able to deal with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

John Mulaney

My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor that, as a kid, seemed un-funny. But in retrospect, it's hilarious.

John Mulaney

You might do well staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long run.

John Mulaney

I never knew you had to push off with your feet when you walk. And I tried it, and I went very fast.

John Mulaney

All my money is in savings account. My father has probably explained the stock market to me 75 times. I still don't understand it.

John Mulaney

I love making fun of myself. I also like to be made fun of. I've always enjoyed it. There's something really, really funny about someone tearing me apart.

John Mulaney

My childhood was completely dominated by Bill Clinton and the OJ trial. I don't think we've had a family dinner where no one came.

John Mulaney

If something is very, very funny, but possibly controversial, if it's really funny, it's worth doing. Things are not worth doing in order to be controversial.

John Mulaney

If someone had written a review saying, 'Oh, hello' is stupid,' we'd have said, 'Yeah, it is. You are absolutely right. People liked it, it was great.

John Mulaney